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Yay valentine’s day right?

Actually the best part of my day was my basketball game. I was dreading it. We normally get destroyed and I had a terrible game last time we played.  Plus, I have the joy of getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow so tonight was my last game. Surprisingly, I did pretty decent to half way good.  I scored more points tonight than I did all the other games combined.  Still missed a lot of shots, but still improving! Maybe that’s it. Seeing progress and improvement is what is so alleviating.  I feel like I’m just stuck in a rut with life and work and the ex. So seeing change, a change for the good, is something that I can cling to.  Also excited that it is sounding like our team is going to play together again in the Spring league!

I haven’t written for a while. I don’t do commitment well and not the best at sticking with things.  So, sometimes I just might not post for a while. I’m good with that. It’s how I am.  Probably will write more the rest of this week though. I’m so looking forward to the next 5 days off of work!

This is what I was thinking about today. Do people just not care? I mean, I’m clearly not happy at work. I’m not smiling anymore. Not my usual helpful, willing to bend over backwards for you, self. But no one says anything about it. Are these co-workers of mine just that busy with their jobs and own lives to worry or care for someone else? The scary part of that statement is that self reflection piece. I’m terrible with caring for other people, especially at work, and I definitely barely can take care of myself much less take care of other people.  Maybe I’m just really good at trying to stay busy and smile at all the right times and then everyone will thing that everything is okay. Keep on caring that I’m not happy. I still am proud of myself that I am not applying for other jobs during work hours on my work computer, no matter how much I want to.

My self-control has such interesting manifestations. I can say no to desserts, ice cream, ambition, dreams, hope.  But other things, I almost feel like it is impossible to say no to them, whether it be family, friends, or people I’m close to. I wonder if it is because I really care about them and want to be helpful or if it is because it is what I think I’m supposed to do because I expect the same kind of willingness out of them.

With that, I’m falling asleep. Time for bed. Goodnight world.

Monday’s Emotions

Tags

change, Monday, music video, negative reinforcement, Paramore, positive reinforcement, The Only Exception, YouTube

Where to start? Well, I’ve been feeling the music video’s today, so I have one more:

There has to be an exception right? I’m believing that I’ll find mine one day. I have to. Otherwise I know that I’d settle for less. It amazes me every day, learning about how and why other people have settled. It’s also fascinating to see where those people are today and how they’ve grown and changed (good & bad) from their past decisions. I’d like to hope I am introspective as I am in observing others, but probably not.

It’s funny, Mondays can go so fast or drag agonizingly on. It just depends. Some things can totally energize me like an authentic conversation with a co-worker. But then other things, people not wanting to open up, or a mistake, just puts a damper on everything. Actually, now that I think about it, I really do think there is something to that study they did on positive and negative reinforcement. I believe that it was about 7 positive, affirming things to every negative comment or tear down. Who here actually gets affirmed 7 times for each time they’ve been put down? Who here gets affirmed 7 times total in one day?

From my experience, the only way to create change is to be the change you want to see. Yes, I know, that sounds quite corny. Well, that is because it is. But it’s pretty much how I see things. You can try to change for other people, to be what you think they want you to be. But in the long run, that change never sticks. As soon as something comes up, comes between (which it will, we’re all human and mess up), the change is out the window, back to the old habits, ways of eating, treating others, etc…

I think for my Tuesday I’m going to try to say affirming things about and to the people I interact and work with!!

I think we all know one or two people like this…

Tags

Lie, Mean, music video, Taylor Swift, The Band Perry, YouTube

and/or

Trust

Tags

David Horsager, Merriam-Webster, The Trust Edge, trust, Urban Dictionary

Alright, here’s a word that I know what it really means, but don’t know if I know how to live it out in a healthy way. No one wants to be the naive fool…

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary says it can be used as either a descriptive noun or as a active/passive verb.  I think I like this definition:

assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

This is pretty standard.  Another lovely source for definitions is Urban Dictionary.  I couldn’t choose between two of their descriptions of trust so I’m including them both:

Something that is built up by millimeters
and broken down by meters…

and

Hard won, easily lost, and never fully regained

There are so many books and theories and self help things related to trust. I always used to think that I was too good for those things. Now as I get older, well, the world doesn’t work the way I ignorantly thought it did.  I’ve heard from friends that The Trust Edge by David Horsager is pretty good related to trust in and for building your business.  But the business world isn’t really real life is it? Are there enough similarities that you can feasibly make the jump from one arena to the other and have the same principles guiding and driving motivations?

Anyway, how is one supposed to trust. Much less who or when is one supposed to trust? I know for me, I grew up generally trusting my parents until I realized that they make mistakes just like everyone else. I have to believe that they honestly have my best interest in mind, but at some point, my best interest won’t match up with what they think and the clash from the actions that come out of that lose trust.

Do we trust others of the opposite gender in relationships? In believing that they will actually do what they say they will? Or does it need to be proven with action over a long period of time so that its not just a phase or a front to try to falsely win you over.

What makes someone trustworthy? If I want trustworthy people in my life, I suppose it’d probably be helpful to live as a person that others can also trust. I think that this week I am going to work on my trust issues.

Hey readers! Any of you dealt with this? How’d you approach the issue of trust? What’s your point of view on trust in this modern day and age?

 

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Tags

free, give away, Minnetonka Moccasins, review

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